The Magic Words

I once had several interesting discussions with a wise man some years ago...and I wasn't talking to myself.  We discussed many topics during our conversations such as family drama, growing up, important decisions we all face in life, regrets...etc.  Of all the things we talked about one topic, and one thing this man said to me, has really helped me enjoy aspects of my life that I had not previously.  I would like to share parts of our conversation and the three key words he said to me that changed my life for the positive. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

At some point in our many conversations we began discussing aspects of my personality, specifically things I previously referred to as pet peeves.  The man I was speaking with called them quality of life destroyers! There is a huge difference in those two statements, so allow me to explain his reasoning.  For as long as I can remember I've hated certain types of change. I intend to devote an upcoming blog on my life's struggle with dealing with change and what I feel is its origins, but for now just know that there was and continues to be some forms of change I'm simply not comfortable with.  I feel I do my best and am most content when I have structured routines and habits.  Things that disrupt my habits and daily routines used to really annoy me.  Though I'm far from cured thanks to the 3 magic words I promised to share with you I have learned to deal much better with not only change, but life in general.

I hope at this point you just asked yourself, "So what are the 3 magic words!?". I can't reveal them yet, but rest assured they are not far away.  For now here's 2 words for you, "keep reading".  When asked for an example of how and/or why change bothers me I brought up the issue of travel.  I love visiting new places, trying new foods, and learning about various cultures, but with that said I must also confess that before hearing and absorbing the 3 magic words I absolutely hated, dreaded, despised, and loathed the actual process of travel itself.  From long drives in the car, waiting in never ending lines, traffic, packing and unpacking, and any of the other multitude of obstacles that come with flying.  After hearing this the man replied, "How can you say you love travel when you hate doing all the things you just mentioned?". My reply was "Well...once I get there I'm great. I just hate getting there".  Just as I rewrote those words I realize what a complete idiot I must have sounded like.  I realize now that what I really disliked was how the act of traveling disrupted the habits and routines that I thrive in.  Once at the destination I could unpack and fall back into my habits and routines.

The remainder of this post is a paraphrase of what he then said to me along with the 3 magic words.  We each only get one shot at life. One of the very few things we actually have control over throughout our life times are the choices we each make. Our lives are made up of choices. We can choose to be miserable or happy. We can choose to be mean or nice. We can choose to turn left or right. You get the picture. The point is the one life that we're each given goes by so very fast, and so many of us choose to look at the negative instead of the positive. I used to look at nothing but the negative aspects of traveling, just as many of you out there may only look at the negatives of something in your own life.  Instead of always thinking about the negative try this...choose to just... "enjoy the journey."

Where's my $700,000?

Less than a couple of months ago much of the United States and the world was outraged that a 68 year old volunteer bus monitor was verbally abused and ridiculed by a group of seventh grade students.  While it is certainly a deplorable act committed by these students the aftermath of the event and overwhelming response of the public made me question some things.  For those not familiar with the story the verbal abuse suffered by the bus monitor at the hands of the seventh grade students made national and world news when cell phone recorded video of the incident became public.  The bus monitor was then flocked with an outpouring of condolences, well wishes, and...a LOT OF MONEY from people all over the country and the world.  How much money? According to news reports I read just this morning she has now raked in $703,873 and that figure continues to grow.  More power to the bus monitor, but the questions the event left me to ponder are...

Why was the general public so shocked and disturbed that this occurred?

For those of you not familiar with what occurs daily in our schools here's a newsflash: 

TEACHERS, CUSTODIANS, ADMINISTRATION, CAFETERIA STAFF, COACHES, AND SOME STUDENTS ARE VERBALLY ABUSED AND RIDICULED BY OTHER STUDENTS NEARLY EVERYDAY!!

The days when all students, particularly at the middle school level and beyond, were respectful to adults simply because they're adults has long passed. It may be time for the general public to get a clue. 

As a middle school teacher I have been cussed at and cussed out. I have been made fun of by students, and I have even come darn close to being hit by a student. My situation is not unique by any stretch of the imagination as the vast majority of my co-workers have all experienced similar happenings. It is precisely for these reasons that I am having such a difficult time understanding what the public really thinks happens in schools. Are they (the public) so disillusioned that they believe the event with the bus monitor is an isolated incident? If so, then God help us all, because we are in serious trouble!! 

My take...I think deep down in their hearts the general public knows full well what is occurring in our schools, but they have previously felt helpless to try to change things. Just as teachers have no real power in the classroom due to the far reaches of political correctness and a plethora of frivolous lawsuits brought against school boards across the country everyone has become paralyzed by fear. It is in that very fear that the student's power to say, do, and get away with any and everything at school flourishes. The students fully understand there is nothing we (the teachers) can really do to punish them, so we have essentially created an 'inmates run the institution' situation in public schools across America. I believe the public's outpouring of support for the bus monitor was born partly out of compassion for what happened and partly out of guilt. The public knew that by supporting the bus monitor they could rid themselves of some of the guilt they must surely feel for the plight of powerless teachers across the nation.

Why the outrage for this particular event?  

Obviously it was because this incident was videotaped and played repeatedly across the world. Since this happened I have many times wished that I had videotaped evidences of the many verbal assaults I have been the victim of. I could certainly use hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Can the general public possibly be so naive about what occurs in schools across this country day in and day out? 

Yes. Yes they can!

Lastly, where is my outpouring of public support and financial compensation for the emotional and psychological suffering that I and so many other teachers like me have to deal with each and every day?

I guess that's for me to continue to ponder and the public and government to one day answer.