2013 was quite a year full of many personal and professional ups and downs. Like most previous years there were wonderful moments of overwhelming joy, a few gut wrenching moments of total sadness, and a whole lot of every other emotion thrown into this mix we call life. It was not until I sat down to write this, and reflect on the year that was that I realized I had not posted anything here since last February. This is funny because one of my resolutions for 2013 was to write and post a blog at least once or twice a month....so that didn't exactly work out. A major reason for this resolution not panning out the way I intended is because I fell in love with another outlet to help relieve my stresses. The outlet = running. I'll begin looking back at the year that was by starting with my personal life, and what better way to begin than to talking about running.
2013 Personal Reflection -
Anyone who has spent any amount of time with me through middle and high school, and over the past 14 years or so know that working out (lifting weights, running, playing basketball) are all things I love doing. For awhile life got in the way and my workouts were not keeping up with my eating, and I ballooned to a lovely 276 lbs. As my doctor once affectionately told me, "You look like a pile of mashed potatoes with a peanut (my head) sitting on top of it." or as one of my 8th grade students once said after seeing a picture of me beside pictures of his other teachers, "Mr. Styron, how come you got the biggest body, but the smallest head?". Go ahead...laugh it up! Anyway, roughly 2 years ago I decided to recommit myself to working out and running. It became and has remained an obsession. It is a permanent part of my days, weeks, and life. In fact, I often over train because I become incredibly uncomfortable taking a day off even though the sane part of my brain knows it is necessary. Not to brag, but I dropped to a lovely 226 lbs. and actually changed the formation of my entire body thanks to doing a ton of muscle confusion workouts via crossfit, completely changing how I lift weights, and last but not least got serious about my running. Now the comments I get from my doctor and students are more along the lines of, "You really don't need to lose anymore weight" or "Why is your head so big?".
Near the end of 2012 is when I had really upped my running game, and I began to realize I missed the competitiveness of sports that I used to get playing basketball. One of my resolutions for 2013 was to run and compete in at least four 5K races. I ended up racing in 8 or 9. Running is awesome. Running is painfully beautiful, and it is often the best part of my day. One of my resolutions for 2014 will be to try out some 10K's and continue to improve.
Aside from those changes, which I mentioned first, because so much about me getting in better shape physically has led to me being in better shape in other aspects of my life...particularly mentally and emotionally. Some of the more memorable 'good' moments of 2013 include buying and settling into a house that is beyond what I could have ever imagined possible when I was growing up, and reuniting with a long lost stepsister from my dad's second marriage. From the age of 5 to the time I was nearly 11 my stepsister and I were incredibly close. That time of my life was as close as I would ever get to knowing what a 'real family' was supposed to be. I had thought of her many times over the years wondering what ever happened to her, her other sister, and their mom. Did she (or they) ever wonder what happened to my sister and I after we were literally moved overnight from Georgia to North Carolina? What had happened in their lives over the years? Unbelievably, I was able to get the answers to some of these questions and more this past summer when we were reunited after 26 years apart thanks to Facebook. We're slowly trying to rebuild or build a new relationship.
Some of the 'bad' moments of 2013 were the deaths of our 2 cats, Callie and Tuna. Callie had been in our lives since before my wife and I were married, and Big Tuna had been with us for 8 years or so. Both of their deaths were surprisingly difficult to deal with, but paled in comparison to the death of my beloved Lu Lu. Our Boston Terrier, and my dream dog, that was given to me as a 6 week old puppy during Christmas of 2000. She passed away in late June of this year, and I'll freely admit it destroyed me to the core. She was the best. There were of course many other events that occurred in 2013 on a personal level that were good, bad, and everything in between, but those are for other posts.
2013 Professional Reflection -
Professionally 2013 has been good. I'm still doing what I feel like I was born to do which of course is teaching. I've taken on more responsibilities at the middle school where I teach, and I'm trying like hell to adjust to the major changes that continue to disrupt and alter public education in North Carolina. My other job at the community college teaching 'adults' has been an interesting experience to say the least, but I enjoy it for the most part. With all that said there have definitely been times throughout 2013 in which I felt that I wasn't fully using what I consider my strengths as a teacher. At times I have felt that I was not reaching my potential as an educator, that I could and should be doing more as an educator, and trying to decide if what I can and want to do can even occur in a public school in North Carolina with all the changes that have been made. Time will tell.
Once again I'm resolving to get this blog back to it's former glory by writing and posting more about my life as a teacher and life in general. Please become a follower if you are not already, and look forward to as many laughs as I can provide for you in the future. All the best that life has to offer to you and yours in 2014.
-Sty
Monday, December 30, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Why teach?
"Why am I even here?" It is a question I have been asking myself a lot more often than I would like to admit this school year, but after a few deep breaths I always remember. It is the thoughts that go through my head at the times I find myself questioning what I really consider to be my calling in life that is the purpose of this blog. If you are currently a teacher I hope that some of the things I share with you in this blog will help you the next time you are feeling overrun and under appreciated which unfortunately seems to be occurring more and more.
As anyone who has spent any significant amount of time in a classroom teaching can attest, it is truely one of the most difficult, challenging, stressful, demanding, and time consuming occupations one can have. In fact, one of the major reasons I've been unable to write since August is because I simply have not found the time to do so. So bothersome was this to me that one of my many New Year's resolutions was to write and post at least 2 blogs a month. Well...I completely bypassed the month of January and February is nearly over, but better late than never. Hopefully, I will make myself stay on track now that I've begun. Another thing people who have taught in the public school system will verify is the fact that the meager monetary compensation forces many to either work multiple jobs or leave the profession altogether. So again I pose the question, "Why teach?"
As teachers we are among the most educated people in society, but also among the lowest paid and most under appreciated. We are constantly belittled and put down by many in society at large. We are disrespected consistently by students, parents, and members of the media. We are tremendously overworked and underpaid. I have a Master's Degree from one of the finest teaching universities in America and I am in my sixth year of teaching still making a first year teacher salary. I have had either a part-time job or been lucky enough to pick up contracted jobs doing odds and ends to help supplement my pitiful income, so that has helped. The problem is that I don't think I, or any teacher for that matter, should have to do anything other than teach. So once again I ask the question, "Why teach?"
I have several responses to this question. The following are the things I remind myself of during those stressful moments when I find myself wanting to either run full speed into rush hour traffic wearing a blindfold, or throw some students off the tallest building around. I hope they help you.
1) Arrogant or Delusional? -
I am quite simply arrogant enough to believe that I can actually fix all the many things wrong in and about my students while also providing them with the educational foundation they each need to succeed at the next level. Some consider this way of thinking as more delusional than arrogant, but I think that anyone who chooses, and truly loves teaching, has to have some sort of 'Save the World' mentality in order to be successful.
2) If not me...then who? -
There comes a point in which the metaphorical buck can only be passed so far before someone makes a stand. As educators I think one of the many responsibilities we accept is that the buck must stop with us. Obviously society, many parents, and many aspects of modern pop culture are failing our children, so it is placed upon our (teachers) shoulders to right all the wrongs. Teachers are constantly on the front lines in a never ending battle to save our students from the damage caused by their far too often horrible home lives, a pop culture that continually glorifies that which should not see the light of day, and a society that I feel not only promotes, but encourages a sense of entitlement in so many of our students. Students constantly want to be praised for doing the things they are suppose to do...
"Mr. Styron, I did my homework!!" says little Johnny, who then stares blankly at me with a confused grin on his face as if I should notify the press and throw him a parade.
"Mr. Styron, if I behave today what do I get?!!"...how about if you behave I will not feel the need to repeatedly punch you in the throat?
The point is that if no one else is going to help our students realize how backward their thinking has become we are essentially doomed as a society. This is another reason I choose to teach.
3) I'm meant to do this.
Ever since the lottery became legal in the state of North Carolina I've frequently been asked what I would do if I ever won. Well, I'd do a lot...but that's for another blog. What I tell people always garners me stranger than normal looks, because I tell them I would continue to teach. Perhaps not in the public school system, but I would definitely find somewhere to teach. I have to do it. I love it. It is like breathing. Are there bad days? Absolutely! In fact, the bad days are terrible, but there are also many good days. Just like the bad days are terrible, the good days are unbelievably awesome!! The key is to have more good days than bad, and typically it works out that way.
4) We are getting through to our kids.
As educators we often become so bogged down in the mountains of paperwork and seemingly endless, neverending, and mostly pointless meetings that we lose sight of why we began teaching in the first place. It was to make a positive difference in the lives of our students. As I noted earlier the hours and salary certainly aren't a draw. This fact was driven home to me just today in a wonderful handwritten note I received from a student. For the past 8 years my wife and I have coached the track and field division (ages 21 and up) of the Pitt County Special Olympics, and for four of those years I have been taking students with me each Saturday to experience the joy it brings me. A student I took this past Saturday wrote the following things:
"Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to help volunteer at the Special Olympics. It was extremely fun."
"It didn't just make my day, it made my life."
"I really do think you inspire your students..."
"You really look out for your students..."
"You are the reason I want to teach...I want to make an impact on my students, and make them enjoy school. You have done that for me."
It is these types of things that keep us all coming back for more. As the old saying goes, "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life."
As anyone who has spent any significant amount of time in a classroom teaching can attest, it is truely one of the most difficult, challenging, stressful, demanding, and time consuming occupations one can have. In fact, one of the major reasons I've been unable to write since August is because I simply have not found the time to do so. So bothersome was this to me that one of my many New Year's resolutions was to write and post at least 2 blogs a month. Well...I completely bypassed the month of January and February is nearly over, but better late than never. Hopefully, I will make myself stay on track now that I've begun. Another thing people who have taught in the public school system will verify is the fact that the meager monetary compensation forces many to either work multiple jobs or leave the profession altogether. So again I pose the question, "Why teach?"
As teachers we are among the most educated people in society, but also among the lowest paid and most under appreciated. We are constantly belittled and put down by many in society at large. We are disrespected consistently by students, parents, and members of the media. We are tremendously overworked and underpaid. I have a Master's Degree from one of the finest teaching universities in America and I am in my sixth year of teaching still making a first year teacher salary. I have had either a part-time job or been lucky enough to pick up contracted jobs doing odds and ends to help supplement my pitiful income, so that has helped. The problem is that I don't think I, or any teacher for that matter, should have to do anything other than teach. So once again I ask the question, "Why teach?"
I have several responses to this question. The following are the things I remind myself of during those stressful moments when I find myself wanting to either run full speed into rush hour traffic wearing a blindfold, or throw some students off the tallest building around. I hope they help you.
1) Arrogant or Delusional? -
I am quite simply arrogant enough to believe that I can actually fix all the many things wrong in and about my students while also providing them with the educational foundation they each need to succeed at the next level. Some consider this way of thinking as more delusional than arrogant, but I think that anyone who chooses, and truly loves teaching, has to have some sort of 'Save the World' mentality in order to be successful.
2) If not me...then who? -
There comes a point in which the metaphorical buck can only be passed so far before someone makes a stand. As educators I think one of the many responsibilities we accept is that the buck must stop with us. Obviously society, many parents, and many aspects of modern pop culture are failing our children, so it is placed upon our (teachers) shoulders to right all the wrongs. Teachers are constantly on the front lines in a never ending battle to save our students from the damage caused by their far too often horrible home lives, a pop culture that continually glorifies that which should not see the light of day, and a society that I feel not only promotes, but encourages a sense of entitlement in so many of our students. Students constantly want to be praised for doing the things they are suppose to do...
"Mr. Styron, I did my homework!!" says little Johnny, who then stares blankly at me with a confused grin on his face as if I should notify the press and throw him a parade.
"Mr. Styron, if I behave today what do I get?!!"...how about if you behave I will not feel the need to repeatedly punch you in the throat?
The point is that if no one else is going to help our students realize how backward their thinking has become we are essentially doomed as a society. This is another reason I choose to teach.
3) I'm meant to do this.
Ever since the lottery became legal in the state of North Carolina I've frequently been asked what I would do if I ever won. Well, I'd do a lot...but that's for another blog. What I tell people always garners me stranger than normal looks, because I tell them I would continue to teach. Perhaps not in the public school system, but I would definitely find somewhere to teach. I have to do it. I love it. It is like breathing. Are there bad days? Absolutely! In fact, the bad days are terrible, but there are also many good days. Just like the bad days are terrible, the good days are unbelievably awesome!! The key is to have more good days than bad, and typically it works out that way.
4) We are getting through to our kids.
As educators we often become so bogged down in the mountains of paperwork and seemingly endless, neverending, and mostly pointless meetings that we lose sight of why we began teaching in the first place. It was to make a positive difference in the lives of our students. As I noted earlier the hours and salary certainly aren't a draw. This fact was driven home to me just today in a wonderful handwritten note I received from a student. For the past 8 years my wife and I have coached the track and field division (ages 21 and up) of the Pitt County Special Olympics, and for four of those years I have been taking students with me each Saturday to experience the joy it brings me. A student I took this past Saturday wrote the following things:
"Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to help volunteer at the Special Olympics. It was extremely fun."
"It didn't just make my day, it made my life."
"I really do think you inspire your students..."
"You really look out for your students..."
"You are the reason I want to teach...I want to make an impact on my students, and make them enjoy school. You have done that for me."
It is these types of things that keep us all coming back for more. As the old saying goes, "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life."
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