Signs You're Going to Have a Long School Year

Now that I have more than several years of teaching experience under my belt, I have figured out along the way some sure fire signs that all teachers can look for...signs that they are going to have a very long year.  The vast majority of signs rear their ominous heads during the last couple days of August right before the school year is set to begin anew once again.  If you happen to be unfortunate enough to have at least three of the following things occur during that time you will very likely have to tap into every ounce of stored optimism you have in order to survive the nine months that follow.  If everything on the following list actually happens to you prior to the start of school...May. God. Have. Mercy. On. Your. Soul!

Signs You Are Going to Have a Long Year:

1) You get your class roster & whenever you see the student's teachers from the year before they do one
     of 3 things... avoid direct eye contact with you, point at you and laugh hysterically, or help you find a
     nice quiet place to cry.
2) You pull your student's cum folders and they are all 4 to 5 inches thick.
3) You have multiple students on probation.
4) No students or their parents make an appearance during open house.
5) If you do have students and parents show up to open house and the first thing the parent does is
    whisper something like the following to you "Well look, let me tell you about Johnny".
6) The parents show up to open house wearing a muu-muu and house slippers...typically their hair will
     appear to have been in a fight with a stick of dynamite and loss.
7) You ask a student a simple question at open house such as "What's your name?" and they respond,
     while staring awkwardly at a spot on the wall "Huh?"
8) When the parent is filling out their contact information at open house their email is something
     like...lilboomboombooty@  or makinitclap@  or  ihatemychildsteacheralready@...
9) The parents look at your 'needed materials' list which consists of a composition book and a pencil as
     if they are going to have to take out a second mortgage on their home in order to buy them.
10) The principal comes to talk to you about your upcoming class dynamics.
11) The school resource officer comes to talk to you about your upcoming class dynamics.
12) Your new student's various probation officers come to talk to you about your upcoming class
       dynamics.

13) The school secretary calls you to the front office to let you know how many sick days you have
       available in the coming year, and gives you the list of subs that will refuse to cover for the group of
       students you're about to get.
14) You recieve a multitude of sympathy cards in your box prior to the start of the year.

Anyway, I hope by now you get the picture and know what to look for as we quickly approach the start of another new school year.  I hope you enjoyed!!