Testicles & Poop

Now that I've grabbed your attention from the very intriguing title I will do what I can to keep it. For any new readers I would like to caution you that I live by the philosophy that it is better to laugh than cry. For all my loyal followers I would like to remind you of my philosophy, and beg of you to keep it in mind as you read the following.

Yet another of the most uncomfortable times of my life occurred recently at the local learning center where I work part time.

As I prepared to work with my first student of the day, I also prepared myself mentally for what I knew was coming, as I had worked with the student several times before. The child has Down's Syndrome, and based on my time spent coaching Special Olympics for the past five years, I would describe him as low to medium functioning. The time arrives and in he walks/runs/hobbles over to my table. I know immediately that something is different about the student, because never before has he showed any trouble walking.

I did not have to wait long to find out what was different about the young man of 7 years old. In the past the student has had a very difficult time pronouncing even one syllable words, yet as he arrived at my table he happily announced to me, "I went to the doctor." Though slightly taken aback that an entire sentence had been spoken by him I replied, "Oh yeah...are you okay?" Why I set myself up like this I still wonder, but he instantly and loudly replied while pointing to his crotch in a room full of other students and instructors, "MY TESTICLES!"

Needless to say I nearly choked to death on my morning coffee that I happened to be sipping at the time. With every eye in the entire room on me now all I could think to say was, "OOOOkay." He would go on to point to his crotch and loudly say "TESTICLES!" a few more times before settling down. The only real positive to come of the situation is that I now knew why he was walking oddly.

For the next 15-20 minutes the young man worked very hard, and I mistakenly thought the worst was over. It was shortly after this wonderful thought crossed my mind that the young man's head snapped up and he announced, "I gotta poop." He was up and hobbling to the restroom before I had even processed what he had just said. As he was gone I sat there grateful for the peace and quiet. I checked the clock while he was gone to find that I unbelievably still had another 20 minutes to go before the end of the instructional hour. It would turn out to be the longest 20 minutes of my life. He returned from the restroom, and within about 10 seconds I realized that something had gone horribly wrong. I'm not sure what the young man's restroom experience was, but what I can state with certainty is that for the next 20 minutes of my life I felt as if I were living and breathing from inside a dirty diaper.

As the hour ended, I quickly got up and went to tell the center's director that I thought the young man had used the bathroom on himself. Her reply, "You can't be serious." to which I said "Sadly, I am." She looked at the student who was strolling bowlegged towards the exit door, looks back at me, and says, "Well you know he had surgery on his testicles 2 days ago." With that comment I clocked out and left the building. I do love teaching!