Dear Parents...

This blog was originally intended to be about the lack of respect many students exhibit in today's classrooms and in many ways it still is, but after recent events I have decided instead to write a letter to all the parents of those students we try so hard to educate every day.

If you're a parent who has raised a wonderfully well behaved, respectful, studious student that cares about his or her education I, along with every other educator across the world, thanks you from the bottom of our teaching hearts. There is no need for you to read any further, unless you're interested in how other parents are raising their children.
The rest of this letter is for every parent that may believe, however misguided, that they are doing a wonderful job raising their precious child and/or for those parents that are completely and utterly clueless as to how to raise a child to be a productive member of a civilized society.

When your child has been attending a middle school that has had the same uniform policy for 3 years, and you still send them to school looking like Stevie Wonder dressed them you're not helping your child.

When a teacher calls a parent we know is unemployed after 2:00 in the afternoon, and we wake you up, you're not helping your child.

When a teacher repeatedly requests a parent conference throughout the entire 9 weeks and is ignored until their precious child comes home with an F DELUXE REPORT CARD ROYALE W/CHEESE...you're not helping your child.

When you actually do decide to show up to a parent/teacher conference and walk in wearing house slippers and a robe, you're not helping your child.

If your precious child could care less whether we call you or not to discuss their bad behavior, you have failed as a parent.

If your child has been raised to not understand how to follow simple directions and rules this is a direct reflection of you. In this case you are once again not helping your child, and have in fact failed as a parent.

If your precious child has been told every single day to either stop talking, stop chewing gum, listen, ...etc, then it boils down to one of three things. 1) Your precious child is in fact a blazing idiot that will not function well in life and will end up being supported by children of parents who knew how to raise them correctly 2) Your precious child is a blazing idiot to stupid to understand things a dog can easily comprehend 3) Your precious child takes after you!

If anything in this letter has offended you take a guess as to what type of parent you are. If this letter has amused and delighted you then you're an awesome parent.