I want to begin this blog by stating that in many ways I am writing this largely for myself, but decided to take the chance of letting others read it despite the embarrassment involved and the hell I'm likely to catch for some of it's admitted sappiness. Over the past 3 1/2 - 4 years I have been trying desperately to transform myself in every way possible in order to become the best version of myself. In many ways I have far exceeded any expectations I began with, while in other areas I continue to deal with my fair share of struggles and personal demons. If we are all honest with ourselves I think that a lot of people experience something similar to what I just described with varying results, successes and failures, and ups and downs. I think that what means the most however is that we each never give up on the process of trying to be the best person we can be. One area of my life I feel I have become much more successful at is being positive and thinking positive. While those of you that know me well and are reading this are probably laughing your ass off right now please allow me the chance to elaborate. For years I disguised, and not very well, my negative thoughts and cynicism with the phrase, "I'm not negative, I'm just being realistic". In fact, the only thing I was being realistic about was that I was only fooling myself. I have put in a lot of work over the past 2 months really getting myself in tune with positive thoughts, looking at the good side of things, and enjoying the journey of life...simply life itself.
One of the things that really helped me flip the script was to take stock of where my life is at this moment and to physically write down all the things, experiences, and people I have in my life for which I am so very, very, grateful. The idea being of course that the more one focuses his or her energy on all the positive things in their lives the more those positive things will replicate and continue within your life. You must understand that negativity and negative thinking only have the power in your life that you allow it to have. I'm no self help guru, but I know from personal experience that there is nothing truer than the two previous sentences. Below I have included some of those things, experiences, and people in my life for which I am so very appreciative. After reading my list I strongly encourage you to write your own. Despite the perceived 'hokeyness' of doing the activity, I think you'll amaze yourself with how it changes your perceptions. After all, reality is perception.
Things I'm thankful for:
My good health
My wonderful, and sometimes highly annoying, pets: Lu Lu, Callie, & Big Tuna.
My job(s).
My education.
My ability to make others laugh...it has come in handy during the best & worst of times.
My work ethic.
My honesty and loyalty to others(not sure I've always been as honest with myself as I should have been)
That I'm right handed.
That I'm tall..ish.
That I'm fairly well proportioned...meaning most people never believe how much I really weigh. :)
How I handle adversity.
...you get the idea of how this should go.
Experiences I'm thankful for:
My terrible childhood, because I wouldn't be who I am today without having gone through hell.
All the incredibly stupid decisions I have made in life for the same reason as above.
That I was able to attend my grandfather's funeral.
That I was able to see and speak with my Grandmother shortly before she passed.
That they were both able to see that I had turned my life around, was making something out of myself, and would have a good life.
Making my grandparents laugh.
My dad for taking/getting custody of me and my sister when we were young. It was bad, but could have been much worse.
My mom never wanting anything to do with me. It taught me early in life that I am how I perceive myself, and not how others perceive me.
Growing up poor, because it taught me to never take anything for granted. It also taught me early in life the senseless value that many people place on money.
Hanging out with my nephews any chance I get.
Every time I get to play basketball
That on one wonderful day at old Fort Pulaski an alligator was chilling by the moat.
...again you get the idea of how this should go.
People I'm thankful for:
My grandfather. Without his presence and support while growing up neither me or my sister would have survived intact.
My grandmother. I'm so much like her in so many ways that it's frightening.
All the really good friends I've had throughout my life. In more ways than one my friends were essentially my family growing up. All have helped me become the person I am today. I'll list a few and if you're not on the list it does not mean that you were any less important to me...I simply can't write all day.
Taco...yes we called him Taco. My very best bud growing up in Savannah, GA. Taco was a black kid. I was a white kid. It made no difference to us, because we instantly hit it off and were inseparable next door neighbors for the better part of 5 years. He taught me more about humor and race relations than anyone I've ever met since.
Fuzz...yes we call him Fuzz. We've known each other for over 25 years now, and long ago I quit referring to him as a friend. He is my brother.
Temple...yes his name was Temple. I write was because he unfortunately passed away in 1998. He was simply an awesome guy, great to hang out with, and had such a unique way about him that you couldn't help but to love him. I'll be forever grateful to Temple. His terribly sad and unexpected passing is the main reason I am here today as his passing led me to make decisions in life I would not have had the courage to make before he passed.
My father...for showing me all the ways not to be in life.
My mother...for continually avoiding contact with me. It made me tougher.
My sister. Without her around when I growing up I would have had no reason to try to keep it together. The responsibility to raise and take care of her outweighed my own concerns.
My nephews. They are both a lot like me which of course means they're awesome. I'm so thankful that they have gotten so many opportunities in life that I was never able to have and I'm incredibly proud of both of them.
My in-laws. Almost since day one they have accepted me as their own...well maybe not day one. The first time I met my father-in-law I was wearing 2 silver hoop earrings, and I don't think that went over well. All jokes aside they have been above and beyond anything I could have ever hoped for or imagined. They showed me what it means to be in a family and part of a family. I hope they realize and understand the tremendous impact they have had in my life. I know I don't really do a good job of showing it. (I'll add that to my list of things to work on)
It seems like I'm forgetting someone...ah yes...the wifey. I intentionally saved this one for last because I'm not quite sure where to begin or end, so I'll just start and see what happens. Not really sure if anyone on planet earth could have ever imagined that we would have matched up at the times in our lives when we did, but I'm glad we did. Everything good and positive about my life over the past 12 years has been a direct result of her. Forgive the horrible cliche, but she has made me a much better man than I could have ever believed possible. I like to believe I helped her to achieve great things as well. I'm also grateful for her because where I am weak she is strong and vice versa. She continually pushes me to go further when I would have been content staying put which always works out for the best. She has provided the inspiration and courage to do things in my life that I would never have attempted were it not for her...I could go on and on, but I want to go ahead and stop before some of you actually throw up on your computers.
At any rate, if you find the time to sit down and compile a list such as the one I just did I can once again assure you that you'll not soon regret it. All the best and stay positive!
