Huh!?

Fellow teachers and all else who choose to read I would like to spend some time this evening telling my slowly growing legion of followers some of the ways you can tell if the students you have in your classroom are...lets just say 'special'.

Essentially this is my ode to Foxworthy in that you know you have a 'special' student(s) if they say or do any of the following....

1. Respond to anything you say to them with the phrase "huh"
2. Never, not even on the first day of school, do they have a pencil and they then look at you as if it's your problem.
3. They say a multitude of things that may or may not be English.
4. They cannot for the life of them memorize the spelling and definition of 10 vocabulary words, but can recite every line of the latest Soulja Boy song.
5. Though they were born of American parents, have grown up speaking the English language their entire lives they cannot decipher the two simple phrases "sit down" and "be quiet".
6. They ask for extra credit work, but are failing the class because they never did the original work.
7. They think the heavy use AXE body spray is an acceptable substitute for showering.
8. They have no concept of a belt's use.
9. They ask "Are we supposed to write the questions?" even though DO NOT WRITE QUESTIONS is written in letters so big on the board that Stevie Wonder could see them.
10. And finally for tonight...wait...huh!?

I HATE POINTLESS MEETINGS

I would say that most teachers dislike or even hate meetings as much as I do, but I hesitate mainly because there are some teachers that apparently thrive on having or being apart of meetings. In fact, last year I was part of a meeting held to discuss what we would need to talk about in an upcoming meeting. If that last sentence confused you then I'll repeat it in simpler terms...WE HAD A MEETING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT WE WOULD SAY IN A FUTURE MEETING!!!!!!! I feel like punching myself repeatedly in the face just thinking about that horrible time in my life.

Shouldn't modern technology like EMAIL do something to eliminate much of the need of having to meet face to face to engage in discussions that inevitably lead to one or two people simply spouting off at the mouth just to hear themselves yap. I barely have enough time in a typical work day to catch a breath, much less meet to discuss things that have ABSOLUTELY NO RELEVANCE to educating students. If I sound bitter it's on purpose. Actually, I've just made an executive decision to keep track of all the hours I'm forced to waste in pointless meetings and send it to the school board. Included in that letter will be a formal request for an extended planning period, since the overwhelming majority of my planning period is spent in POINTLESS MEETINGS!

I hate to end this blog abruptly, but I'm due at a meeting. :)

Here Comes the Pressure!

Well folks...it's about that time once again in the school year when teachers and students are busy getting prepared for the mandatory stress inducing, and I believe largely pointless, end of grade testing. Teachers are scrambling to review key concepts they know will be on the test. Students are beginning to wonder if they have what it takes to pass the test, and if their teachers have prepared them properly. For some students the stress they deal with in the weeks leading up to the test is overwhelming. Why are our students put through this pointless stress and worry? I have still not figured it out. Politicians tell us that it is to keep track of the quality of teachers. Gimme a break! All that mandatory end of grade testing has produced are teachers that ONLY teach the very limited amount of content knowledge that they know will be on the test. Most of this teaching occurs at the end of the year right before the test, so how are we assessing the quality of the teachers throughout the earlier part of the school year?

Last year about three weeks before the end of grade tests were scheduled to begin I received a phone call from a concerned parent asking if I could please speak to her daughter in an attempt to alleviate her daughter's increasing anxiety about the test. When I asked the mother what the problem was, she replied that her daughter was so terrified of the test that she had been waking up every morning and throwing up. I just don't see the point of our students having to go through that type of stress, particularly at the middle school and elementary level.

Teachers ability to teach is something that should be left to the principal to decide, not one test on one day that determines the teachers and students worth. When I was in middle school you either passed or failed your grade. If a student failed one of the core subjects they had to go to a 2 month summer school. If the student failed two subjects they simply had to repeat the grade. This seemed like a much better system to me.

Quality teaching in today's world involves so much more than what can be assessed on one test at the end of the school year. There has to be a better way.

Only in Middle School

Last night and early this morning while I was getting ready to go to work, I began thinking I would try something a little different in my social studies class today. I decided to cancel what I had planned for today, and instead decided to take some time to let the students know that I recognize the uniqueness in each one of them. I told all the students to be very quiet and simply listen as I went student by student and row by row saying something nice about each one of my them.

Though initially the students thought is was a bit odd, most students were soon taken aback by my honesty and kind words. In each class you could have literally heard a pin drop as the students listened intently, and hung on my every word. At least that is until 6th period class when in the midst of the touching moment between teacher and students the following occurred:

When I had made it through half the class telling each student something good about themselves one of the students raised his hand. I ignored it at first, because I did not want to lose the moment I had created and enjoyed in each class that day. However, the student was so patient and persistent that I finally called on him. He said the following, "Mr. Styron, I need to go dig out my wedgie." And so went that heart warming activity.

Only in middle school my friends! :)

Children Left Behind

One of the major issues that I and many educators have with Bush's 'No Child Left Behind' bill is the fact that educators are supposed to have all students reading at grade level by 2013. If you've ever been close to a classroom in America you realize that is not only tremendously funny, but also impossible. In my homeroom language arts class all but one of my students reads between a 2nd and 3rd grade level. The one who is not reading in this category reads at a 5th grade level. As a reminder...I TEACH 7TH GRADE!!!

What is even more ludicrous is the fact that ALL students are to be reading at grade level, including students with severe and profound disabilities, mental retardation, and extremely troublesome learning disabilities. The irony of the entire situation is the fact that the 'No Child Left Behind' bill is precisely what is preventing educators from teaching their students the skills needed to be able to read at grade level. How can that be? The answer is simple. Educators are being forced to teach to the test. Instead of educators teaching students the necessary skills needed to become critical thinkers, most educators are forced to spend most of their classtime just making sure that their students pass the end of grade test. Since the passing of the bill, there have been no real changes in America's education system unless you count the fact that students and teachers have been put under so much pressure that students are becoming disgruntled and educators are leaving the profession in record numbers.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it! If it is broke, please fix it! 'No Child Left Behind' isn't working, and it's time for a massive, and real, solution to America's education crisis.

Not a good fad...

I have heard 2 words from students this school year more than any other; gay and faggot. At least ten times a day I hear a student say to another student or students that they're gay or they come straight out and call each other faggots. Over the past couple of months I have done some things in an attempt to stop this from happening. I now wish to share those with my slowly growing legion of loyal followers. Some of you may find this amusing. Some of you may find it sad, and some of you may find it completely disturbing.

#1 I informed all of my students that they will realize as they get older that the ones who say that others are gay or a faggot the most are usually gay themselves. I let them know that they call others gay and faggot because they're so insecure about their true feelings. That really helped to reduce the number of times I heard it.

#2 I gave students a strike everytime I heard it. A few learned rather quickly to quit saying it after suffering through silent lunch and/or ISS (In School Suspension).

#3 I told my students about the many different meanings the word gay and faggot have such as...gay means happy, a faggot is a bundle of sticks in England, and a fag is a cigarette in Australia.

Unfortunately, the last attempt backfired slightly because now I often hear the following, "Hey man, you ah bundle of sticks!" or "Man... you ah cigarette!"

This blog pretty much explains what teaching middle school is all about! :)

How to Fix American Schools

Each year politicians, political pundits, and various members of the media make it a point to let us know how bad the American public school system is. Politicians run entire campaigns promising to fix our schools, and millions of dollars are spent yearly for new programs and incentives. The end result is that very little has changed, other than the implementation of newer technologies in the classroom, and the continuing assault on America's teachers. Despite the changes in accountability the No Child Left Behind bill has created in today's classroom it has not sparked the fantastic changes promised by the former President.

In order to change the entire dynamics of the American public school system I offer this incredibly simple solution. A solution that will essentially not burden the taxpayer. A solution that will dramatically altar the public school system in America. So what is my amazing answer to our 'education crisis'?
Here it is:
Each student's parent and/or guardian should be required to spend one week in the classroom in order to see, hear, and experience all the things that teachers go through on a daily basis. I feel certain that in a short amount of time our public school system would change for the better. In addition, I believe that this would create much better parenting in today's homes. Often teachers have to spend so much time doing things parents should do that it affects what we teach and how well our students learn.

For parents:
Walk a mile in a teacher's shoes, and take responsibility for your child's behavior!